There are lots of upsides to dating Sports Illustrated cover model Kate Upton, and I’m not just talking about the two obvious ones affixed to her décolletage. You can learn to dougie. And cat daddy. In a bikini. And these are all good things! But the only thing you can’t learn from Kate Upton? How to throw a damn baseball.
Detroit Tigers pitcher Justin Verlander is arguably one of the best pitchers in the MLB. While your right arm only helped you out, his right arm took the Tigers to the 2012 World Series, and earned them the American League Central divisional title the last three years running. He came first in the league for his ERA in 2011, and second in the league in 2012. But ever since he started dating Upton at the start of this year? The hottest arm in the American League just can’t seem to keep opposing teams from scoring. Though we’re only three months into the 2014 season, in the last month alone, Verlander’s ERA has soared from 2.68 at the start of May to a dismal 4.61 as of June 11th’s 8-2 loss to the Chicago White Sox. (He shrugged that one off by partying with his girlfriend in Chicago after the game.)
Though his arm started slipping in the 2013 season, since Verlander started dating Upton, he’s tumbled on down the MLB ERA rankings to an unremarkable 38th. Coincidence combined with an arm that’s thrown 100-mph fastballs professionally for eight years, or a sign that the Tony Romo-Jessica Simpson Dallas Cowboys curse is about to hit the Tigers? Let’s just say Sports Illustrated‘s hottest couple shouldn’t plan a vacation to Cabo San Lucas anytime soon.
On the bright side, he’s probably gotten real good at dancing to novelty hip-hop songs, so there’s that.