Despite their super celebrity status and £125 million worth, David and Victoria Beckham are making their eldest son Brooklyn get a weekend job at a local café — you know, just to push the point home that £125 million is helluva amount of money, and that platform-sandaled girl group fame doesn’t just happen to everyone. This is sad news considering his debut as a cover model last month, because now it looks like a quick drop from the fashion industry’s newest face to the coffee industry’s latest employee, but at least he’ll meet other models and actors too I guess.
The 15-year-old will be paid £2.68 an hour, which, because of his age, isn’t even minimum wage but apprentice pay instead. Now while Brooklyn may bemoan his parents’ decision — as someone who was paid in quarters for chores I can attest to this — at least they’re being good, regular parents, instead of cool parents. Don’t get me wrong: empirically they are cool, and they are also parents, but they definitely are not cool parents. Other reasons I love them?
1. They Do Their Own Chores
People said that the couple didn’t employ nannies, personal chefs, or a live-in housekeeper but did everything like picking up groceries and going to McDonald’s themselves. That last fact is probably my favorite, because not only were the super-fit couple okay with French fries for their wee one, but I think that a part of them would agree that the ball pit and plastic crawl tubes found in any McDonald’s play ground are important for a child’s development — or at least nostalgia.
2. They Have Their Own Careers
When they first met, she was still the chic one in the Spice Girls and he was starting off his soccer career with Manchester United. After they married and the Spice Girls broke up, she tried an unsuccessful solo career, but rather than retiring to the ranks of Footballer Wife status, Posh made a career switch to fashion designer — by which I mean a real designer, and not just a celebrity designer, who does it for shits and giggles in-between movie roles and clubbing.
3. They’re Sensible Home Owners
Around the time they were house hunting for Becks’ move to Real Madrid, Posh had this sensible complaint about real estate:
“It’s been very hard finding a house. You should have seen some of the houses that we saw when we first came out. They were so Hollywood, they had lifts and discos and cinemas and I don’t want anything like that. I want something that’s a nice size so that when I’m on my own with the children, I’m not going to feel scared.”
4. They’re Never Too Cool to Wear Matching Outfits
In ultimate couple cheesiness, Victoria and David are not beyond wearing complimenting or matching outfits for red carpets. Most recently he sported a white blazer to go with her white gown for the Met Gala — reminiscent of a classy prom couple or their all white ensembles from the 2003 MTV Movie Awards.
5. They Will Kiss Cam
The matching outfits weren’t cheesy enough, so here’s a video of them being Kiss Cam-ed at a Lakers game. Victoria — in a rare poutless moment — was suitably embarrassed but did it anyway.
6. They’re Supportive Despite Questionable Hairstyles
I have a feeling that this is how you know you found the one. Because even through Beckham’s corn rows, the Victoria’s helmet bob (which okay, was pretty chic), her blonde years, his blonde years, her long tresses, and his man pony tail, they’ve seen several incarnations of each other and still love one another, leading me to believe that their mutual hotness isn’t the only thing keeping them together for so long.
7. He Wore Super Tight Booty Shorts to Impress Her
David admitted to E! that “When I first started going out with Victoria and we went away for the first time I remember I took a pair of small, tight blue Gucci trunks with me — I was obviously trying to impress her. They were really small, but they worked!”
I enjoy this fact because it shows that Victoria and David are really just like us: David resorted to using his body to lure Victoria, and Victoria (as we all are) was not immune to his, um, charms.
8. They’re Always Together
Not that they’re annoyingly attached to the hip, but have you noticed that they’re just naturally together? That sounds silly, and yes I know that married people stay together, but there are some celebrity couples that I never see together at events or when they’re buying groceries or driving in a car or picking their noses. I see these two together all the time.
9. They Watch Pee-Wee Soccer as a Family
When their daughter Harper scored her first goal on her youth soccer team, Victoria, David, and her older brothers were right on the sidelines cheering her on. I think that’s noteworthy because she’s following in her father’s career path and also any time I see Victoria expressing movement or glee (as opposed to posing and voguing that is) I think a model eats a carb. More models need that.
10. They’ve Been Married for 15 Years
That’s a lifetime for any celebrity couple. He even wrote in his autobiography, “My wife picked me out of a soccer sticker book. And I chose her off the telly. It felt straight away like we’d always been meant to be together.” Now while those two dating methods have never worked for me, it’s impressive that they took such a catalog method of choosing each other to the next level, leading to this tweet from Posh a few weeks ago:
— Victoria Beckham (@victoriabeckham) May 6, 2014