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This Restaurant Has an All-Beyoncé Menu for Valentine’s Dinner

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Cancel your Valentine’s Day plans immediately — one Brooklyn restaurant has rendered them all null and void. Brucie in Cobble Hill (our favorite Hill in BK) will serve a special holiday meal on February 14, honoring Beyoncé and family with a menu that is both deliciously punny and legitimately delicious.

We recommend you enjoy the Surf Board (bone marrow and root vegetables) to start. Follow that with the Jay-Ziti and the I Am Pasta Fierce, then dig into the Breastiny’s Child (veal braciole). On the side? The Diva Is a Female Version of a Brusstla.

If you don’t think this sounds particularly romantic, sorry, but you’re wrong, and possibly an idiot. You love your partner, yes, but could you really love anyone as much as you love Bey? (No. No, you could not.)